Music That Raised Me (A Series): Part 1 – Nirvana

The first time I ever heard this band, I was sixteen. And of course, like most people, the first song I stumbled upon was Smells Like Teen Spirit.

I didn’t know much back then. I just remember Krist Novoselic’s crazy bass, distorted guitar riff, the relentless drums of Dave Grohl, and the way Kurt Cobain's voice felt like it wasn’t trying to impress anyone. It wasn’t trying to be beautiful. It wasn’t trying to be perfect. It just was raw, and loud. I heard the song once and moved on and didn't think much of it.

Three years passed.
Now, I’m nineteen.
And I’m writing this blog with a Nirvana playlist on loop, a ritual that’s turned into daily habit . Every growl, every scream, every mumble somehow mirrors what I feel but can’t put into words. Or won’t. I’ve been obsessed with music since I was fourteen, not just as something to pass time, but it fills the gaps between my thoughts.
This time, it wasn’t through Teen Spirit.
It was Come As You Are.
The moment I heard the word “memoria” come out of Kurt’s mouth, I jumped. No jokes. My brain jumped, my body jumped, it felt like my soul had just been fed something it didn’t know it was starving for. Even sitting, my head starts nodding. My leg starts shaking to the drums before I can even process it. That one word, memoria, has too many feelings. The song didn’t ask me to like it and that was when Nirvana clicked for me. Not as a band. But as a feeling. Something that doesn't just play through your headphones, it makes you feel light even through such heavy sounds.
There’s this strange comfort in the way their music isn’t clean. It’s chaotic. The lyrics don’t always make sense. But they feel right. You don’t “understand” Nirvana. Either you get it or you don’t.

Kurt Cobain wrote like he wasn’t trying to be too deep and intense, he just told the truth, as dark or broken as it was. He didn’t care about being liked. He cared about being real. He reminded me, and still reminds me, that your sadness doesn’t have to be poetic. Your thoughts don’t need structure. Your mess can be art. Today, when I hear and watch documentaries about his tragedy, all I think about is how different the world would have been if Cobain were still here. The rock world has been blessed by the presence of Cobain, Grohl and Novoselic.

Kurt wrote “Something in the Way” (Nevermind, 1991), which is said to be the saddest Nirvana song. It’s a slow, near-whispered track that doesn’t explode like the others. The song basically shows a person living under a bridge, surviving off grass and rainwater. But it’s not just about physical homelessness. It’s about emotional baggage, that moment when you feel blocked, weighed down, disconnected, and yet still alive enough to feel it. The line “It’s okay to eat fish, ’cause they don’t have any feelings” feels absurd at first, until you realize it’s self-denial showing up as survival. And here’s the thing: Kurt didn’t actually live under that bridge, not fully. In fact, he later described the lyrics as more of a fantasy of survival, a mental escape into a version of reality that matched how he felt inside (Larocca, 2022).

In Dumb, Cobain explores the idea of finding peace in being simple, even if being simple is misunderstood. The song’s irony lies in appreciating numbness as comfort, and not failure which is a theme he returned to often in his writing (Uitti, 2022).

According to uDiscoverMusic (2021), in Lithium, Cobain showed internal chaos from a slow verse to an explosive chorus. This is mirroring bipolar mood swings. The lyrics depict a grieving man seeking solace in religion or psychopharmacology, wrestling between guilt, numbness, and determination not to break.

Nirvana’s “All Apologies” mixes distorted drums with a peaceful melody. Cobain says “everything’s my fault” and it feels like a bittersweet feeling, making listeners face unresolved guilt and longing. Its lingering cello and gentle acoustics cement the track as a timeless, melancholic masterpiece (Pappis, 2020).

The entire album, Nevermind, is a masterpiece along with In Utero, Incesticide, Bleach and even the live albums are perfectly made. Bleach introduces their grunge sound, rough and raw in emotions. Incesticide shows their experimental side, mixing punk energy with haunting melodies. In Utero feels darker and reveals the band’s vulnerability and anger in equal measure. Their live albums, like MTV Unplugged in New York, has a softer, more intimate side of the band, showing how deeply emotional and sincere their music could be stripped down. These albums aren’t just collections of songs but they’re chapters of a story about pain, rebellion, and the search for meaning in a life that they led in chaos.

Kurt left us at 27, when I was not even born. 
But their music echoes everywhere. T-shirts, posters, walls, studios, you name the place. Krist’s sharp basslines, Dave’s explosive and wild drumming, and Kurt’s beautiful voice that turned every song heavenly. Together, the three of them didn’t try to fix the pain. They didn’t clean it up. They just played it loud enough to make it feel like music.

That’s why it sticks and that’s why they stick. They gave us their masterpiece like every other artist and let us feel their feelings in the loudest way possible. And to me, it's not just music, it's magic.

And those who do not like rock music, at least give it a listen. To understand the beauty of chaos you need to dig deeper to find the peace in it.

References

Azerrad, M. (1993). Come as you are: The story of Nirvana. Doubleday.

Cross, C. R. (2001). Heavier than heaven: A biography of Kurt Cobain. Hyperion.

Larocca, C. (2022, March 7). The meaning behind Nirvana’s “Something in the Way.” Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/entertainment/the-batman-soundtrack-nirvana-something-in-the-way-meaning-lyrics-kurt-cobain

Pappis, K. (2020, June 7). A deep dive into Nirvana’s “All Apologies.” Our Culture Mag. https://ourculturemag.com/2020/06/07/a-deep-dive-into-nirvanas-all-apologies/

uDiscoverMusic. (2021, July 13). “Lithium”: The story behind the raging Nirvana classic. https://www.udiscovermusic.com/stories/nirvana-lithium-song-feature/

Uitti, J. (2022, August 23). Lyric of the week: Nirvana, “Dumb.” American Songwriter. https://americansongwriter.com/lyric-week-nirvana-dumb/

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Art of Romanticizing Your Life (With a Latte in Hand)

One thing I have learnt over the past few years is that the word “romanticize” doesn’t mean just making grand gestures or living luxuriously. But what it does mean is to find beauty in the ordinary, embracing small joys, and making everyday moments feel special. It took me a while to understand this. Looking at the lives of people on social media who were always on the go, outside, and living their lives to the fullest, while I was in my bed, in a tank top and shorts, wondering if I will ever be able to experience what they were doing. Being a teenager with all those insecurities made it even worse. But it was always the idea of laying in bed and doing nothing that held me back, because what's better than staying in, watching a show and getting the best sleep ever? I know it sounds tempting, and trust me there’s nothing wrong with that. What makes it wrong is the process of comparing yourself and diving into misery along with it. And I’m still the same person, well, not completely ...
Read more

Inside the Adolescent Mind: A Psychological Review of Netflix’s Adolescence

Recently, in my social psychology class, our professor had us watch the new Netflix series, Adolescence. I had no idea of it when she started it, but as I watched it, I was HOOKED. I’m not someone who would willingly watch crime and thriller, but this show displays the complications of modern teenagers, especially from a psychological point of view. The story revolves around a 13-year-old boy, Jamie Miller , who is accused of murdering his classmate Katie Leonard. What makes this show so compelling, however, isn't the crime mystery that has been committed but the figuring out of Jamie's world. Because as the series progresses, it becomes clear that this isn’t just about violence or guilt, it's about emotional disconnection, identity confusion, and the dangerous spaces some adolescents fall into when they’re left unseen. Now, I am NOT defending Jamie by any means, but the psychology involved in this series tells the reader why he acted the way he did. The series discusses t...
Read more

The Need to Know Everything: Anxiety’s Obsession With Certainty

As a person who struggles with high levels of anxiety, I have learned that my mind does not want peace, it wants certainty. Knowing what’s coming next. From organising my entire life in a planner to knowing who thinking what or what will happen when the situation has not even occurred yet. It’s like being on survival mode 24/7, because my brain is building maps of possibilities just to feel safe walking through the fog. What surprises me? People still don’t truly understand what anxiety is. So let me clear it up. According to the  American Psychiatric Association (2013) , anxiety is characterised by excessive worry and apprehensive expectation about a variety of events or activities, occurring more days than not for at least six months. People with anxiety often find it difficult to control these worries, and it is typically accompanied by physical and mental symptoms such as restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances. Th...
Read more